the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
I mean, I'm not looking for prince charming. I'm looking for the glass slipper of dicks.
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
But I swear to god if I'm awkwardly there while you try to have sex with someone again I'm getting high with your dad
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
she walked up to me at the bar, kissed me, andthen declared "I HAVEN'T SEEN YOU OR YOUR PENIS SINCE 2011."
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
i am currently wearing a bowl of frosting on my head. i do not regret any of my life choices leading to this moment
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
So you realized he wasn't actually cheating on you and now you're trying to unfuck things. Or in this case unfuck Tom.
Randomize
