I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
I'd wear matching sweaters with you
It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
I just woke up under a kitchen table with my sandals taped to my feet and a corona bottle taped to my hand..
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
is there a way to say "yea i broke my wrist cause i fell down some stairs while tripping my face off on acid" without actually saying it?
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
Randomize
