Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
Dude you can't like a status about me getting hit by a car
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
So he texted me two hours ago to tell me he just took two hits of acid. Now he's asking me if it's possible for a house to breathe.
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
Day drinking straight vodka out of a Mountain Dew can being towed behind a kayak on a raft. And no, there is no time difference, it really is 10 am.
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
Ya know what's been the best part of this College Football Season? Not having to hear Brent Musberger say the Honey Badger 77 fucking times.
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
How do I send someone an apology text for giving them a lap dance in the middle of a party last night?
I'M SO HIGH I FORGOT HOW TO EAT A STRAWBERRY. A FUCKING STRAWBERRY.
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