kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
So the coke mirror was perfectly angeled at my face right when i woke up this morning. I now know how I'd look on intervention.
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
She puked in the bank of America parking lot? Awesome.
Yeah, figured I'd deposit my check while we were there.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
i think the title to my autobiography shall be, "a bottle of vodka and various pieces of meat"
and this is why you're my favorite gay friend.
I am on my usual post-jerkoff high of eternal happiness. Like I could punch a fucking tiger.
your life is going to be an empowering working mom montage tomorrow to Katy P's ROAR... --are you living in a yoplaít comercial?
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
He took me out to dinner to tell me we had to stop fucking so randomly
Honestly wish he pleased me as much as queso does
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