how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
I'm quitting my job and I'm just going to become a professional drunk girls mistake.
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
I left my Thanksgiving family dinner puking in my hands from the worst hangover in the world
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
WHEN THE FUCK DID MCDONALD'S DECIDE TO QUIT SERVING BURGERS AT 1:00AM?
I would peed on everything
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
The bouncer just called me magically delicious... apparently I'm a lucky charm. hollllleeeerrrr!
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
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