Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
Does taking an old homeless guy to the strip club, buying him lap dances, and calling him pops all night count as a good deed???
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Jelly. This is your "are you still alive" text. Any response will do.
Hey I found a cat!
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
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