Please, let me fuck your mom
I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together.
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
Repeat. Dildo on the ceiling, confiscated potato shooter, and bottle of yegger. Repeat. Ceiling dildo and yegger.
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
Apparently I told him the people made me order taco bell I didn't even want it. And then proceeded to turn off all the lights and sit at the kitchen table in the dark and told him not to look at me.
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
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