Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
Please don't tell anyone I peed on your wall.
They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
Dear female. Happy valentines day. If you have not had the pleasure of making love to me, please do not fret, I will get around to it soon enough. If you indeed have made love to me, then bravo, wasn't that grand! Perhaps we should do it again? Regardless, have a good day. This has been a public service announcement. Rock on.
Yeah I don't even know dude. This shit has reached new levels of ridiculous. Let's hope baby Jesus gallops down a rainbow on a sparkling unicorn and wills that bitch clean. I think that's the best chance we've got.
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
The creeper at the bar just realized we have the same birthday and bought me four beers already. He walked off so I took his change and dashed, i'm bringing the case over now.
He tried to grab your ass, but he grabbed my hand cause I grabbed your ass first. I saved your ass..literally. Your welcome.
Randomize
