I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
i'm so high that my cigarette just tasted like chef boyardee. no lie.
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
I knew you were drunk when you poured scotch on a croissant and ate it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Not many best friends can say they've all made out with a homeless guy
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
I'm lying topless with an eye infection at the foot of my bed with a dog between my legs. With disney in the background. Its one of those 3 am moments
I was cracked out naked on a toilet pretending I was posing for playboy.. Shit got weird, but apparently I had a good bday.
You talked about giving to sperm banks on a first date. What did you expect?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
She just drunkenly falls over and yells " I lost my footing!" in a british accent and then proceeds to run into the wall... did you spike her water?
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
I didn't know it was possible and I don't know if I'll ever be able to do it again on my own but he literally fuck me sideways.
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