Someone shit on the floor
you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
How dare she call you insensitive. Should have told her about the time you let that girl in the wheelchair wearing the sombrero blow you.
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
Let me clarify that those tears were for losing my fuck buddy and his penis, not to the fact that he decided he wanted an actual relationship with feelings.
say penis size is all related to how funny you are and then tell a feminist joke. if she laughs, you got double points, if she slaps you, she probably wasn't going to sleep with you anyway
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
Randomize
