WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
the best part about being a teacher is there are always 20 little kids around me to blame my farts on
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
I told her I was team Edward. I haven't gotten laid that easy since I told your sister that I had cancer
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There are parrots here and they're headbanging to the music. There's also a clown and a pit bull that can jump onto tables. Too high for this shit.
I met her dad while holding 4 empty beer bottles at the opera house. I think I made a hell of an impression.
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
I'm gunna send you baby bottles of vodka for those nights when you just give up
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Its like drunk me is Oprah except instead of a car everyone's award is seeing my boobs
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
I dont know who to turn my two weeks notice into so I'm just going to get hammered at work and see who fires me.
You don’t need a wing man if you have a solid hook up on the pumpkin pie
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