I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
I'm gonna buy my dress an hour before wedding. You know, just to make sure it's gonna really happen.
T'would be a shame to waste that open bar though. They shouldn't do that to us. We've been having to pretend we're happy for two people who got engaged a week after they met.
Waking up in a NH rest stop and reading through my texts is definitely a familiar low
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
Def don't remember taking those pics I sent you...but it looks like I was in a car? Shit. Looks like my Uber passenger rating just went up exponentially.
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
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