he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
Remember that girl that we found passed out in the dorm study room under a pile of money and jimmy johns wrappers? She's standing right on front of me.
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
I get sad thinking about all the sex I’m missing out on because of the virus
I instituted “quarantine and chill” months ago. It’s not like penises go soft just because they’re working at home.
Randomize