i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
Why did I wake up to grapes taped my ears ?
Sorry dude, we didn't want you to hear us. Seemed like a good idea at the time.
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
My homemade mace ate through its aluminum container. I make awesome mace.
I am just glad I was home to catch most of it, cause it smells BAD.
I'm not a scientist but that could be because it's homemade mace. That is however just a hypothesis
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
The whole time you were apparently enduring your pukescapades, I was singing very loudly in the car to Beyonce on my way to get a post-coitus Diet Coke.
He thought I was gay. I had to explain I just really like wearing flannel.
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
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