Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
He just sent me a picture of me icing a cake with a butcher knife topless.
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
Either I'm deep cleaning my apartment out of severe academic procrastination or I'm subconsciously nesting and need to take a pregnancy test.
Every pair of shorts I try on makes me look like some kind of powerful lesbian wizard.
That is like, the point of shorts
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
Had a turkey baster with clean pee in it in my pants to pass a drug test, and the bottom fell off, so yeah I'm pretty pissed.
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
Finding an empty bathroom to shit on campus is like the quest for the fucking Holy Grail. Except with more stench and humiliation.
I’ve had a lot of vodka, 3 different dicks and no food since last night. Come get me
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