currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
I never thought I'd have to apologize for tasting like absinthe and cheetos before tonight
The cop told me I was the prettiest guy he'd arrested in a while. I'm still not sure if it was a come on or not.
I accidentally sent a snap of my puss with the Republican filter... Totally killed his boner
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
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