Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
make sure to take notes today. there is a guy in a wheelchair who might be getting a DUI from a cop on horseback. I'm gonna see this through.
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
Nothing screams don't date me louder then having your baby as your profile pic
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
Your maid of honor is passed out in a golf cart on the 18th hole.
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is
Next time you decide to post pictures of yourself in your underwear on facebook, please don't tag me as your bulge.. My mom spent 10 minutes looking for me in that picture. I had to tell her I was hiding.
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
Jesus better clutch that motherfucking wheel, then.
I'M NOT PUTTING MY TRUST IN JESUS! I'M PUTTING MY TRUST IN YOU!
Randomize
