so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
You stuck the head of a rubber chicken you found in her house up your ass and then started running around her living room. Naked.
Pro tip: Don't start playing Bejeweled on Facebook while waiting for your Adderall to kick in. Unless you have the next 9 hours free.
Can you check your dirty laundry bag for my tooth.
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
I feel like this is the moment of high where you have to write these texts down to remember to text them and feel that somehow this is important to the continuity of the world.
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
In case you wake up wondering why your eyes hurt... You were claiming to be Zeus and that mortal weapons couldn't harm you. Some chick took it as a challenge and pepper sprayed you. Sorry dude.
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
You should never be more than a quarter of a mile from a working toilet
Preach!
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
Randomize
