I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
Sunday was the 8 month anniversary when you shot me in the face...just an FYI.
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
The moment that kid turns 18, I will have his sperm for all three meals.
Oh God. You're going to jail
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
THEY NOW HAVE MIXED DRINK EMOJIS! LIFE IS GOOD! PRINCESSES DON'T DRINK BEER
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
You fell out of the chair and then lifted your foot saying, "If my foot could give you the middle finger it would."
Note to self: remember to figure out whether melted cheese is a liquid when not stoned
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
Hungover at Subway, watching a business guy try to squeeze his way past my car to get into his. Bitch shouldn'ta parked over the line.
You truly are a temple of morality.
I am the night, I am justice, I am currently watching the fat biz guy pay a frat boy to back his car up for him so he can get in.
Randomize
