WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
I just realized I haven't had steady access to a woman's body since I was breastfeeding.
He was telling me how the song fireflies makes him feel like he can talk to animals
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
Why is there ANOTHER stolen fire extinguisher in my room? You know that's a felony right...
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
It's my day off, I'm going to Target to check out Moms in yoga pants
whole 5th of capt = waking up in the shower after 2 hours and the whole house asking why i'm STILL in a towel. and me having nothing to say
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