wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
Call me old fashioned but i like to drunk dial a girl 2 or 3 times before sending a dick pic
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
I just heard a 350 lb guy with a stutter describe getting blood in his eye as he was shanking his cellmate and, more generally, how to survive as a white guy in jail.\n\nYou should really consider going to some AA meetings
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
He spent like 5 minutes figuring out how best to position me so I would still be able to watch the game. Maybe there is a benefit to dating a guy who cares about me but doesn't care about my team.
Pretty sure this is the part where you go buy a ring.
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
He actually said the words 'I miss you' followed by 'I wanna have sex with your face'. I'd say that's a win.
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
Randomize
