she just fell off the couch. onto a bag of pretzels. her face resembled a cat that just swallowed a sock.
its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
someone should tell her that easter eggs aren't meant to be dildos.
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
They are fixing my bike for free, trying to smoke me out, and their kids keep hugging me.
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
cops woke me up on the sidewalk and asked where my shoes are.. fuck if i know, im sleeping on the sidewalk! actually i didnt say that, i just cried until they gave me a ride home.
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
I was so drunk I asked my mom if she had always been my mom or if it was someone else for a while
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