What a fucking waste of an outfit
brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
I've just never had a dinner guest strut in, go directly to my bathroom, vomit.. then come out demanding whiskey and food.
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
I woke up and found piles of popcorn in a trail around my house, ending at a laundry basket full of pillows. What were we trying to catch last night?
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
Our sex from this weekend should be engraved into a plaque or commemorated somehow. It was fucking amazing.
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
Randomize
