i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
making cat noises will not fix the situation.
Just saw a bouncer shoot a stripper with a squirt gun. He looked at me n said,"gotta keep em in check." I'm in love with this place
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
Literally had to stick my hands in my pants and hold my butt cheeks together while driving
Just had to kick my 26 yr old boyfriend out of my bed before getting the kids up for school. Have I mentioned being 41 doesn't suck as much as all the hype.
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
Brah, we should get a "do not disturb sign"... I can't have people knocking on the door while I'm high, it fucks with me way too much.
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
I just sat on the floor of my shower for 20 minutes to punish myself for drunk me's decisions.
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
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