Sry I called you an 8
He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
So my birthday was awesome. Only remember 45 min of it but I woke up with a girl on the couch and a half bowl of ground beef
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
I just Tebowed the shit out of her.
Nice and you can't use "Tebow" in the place of every verb.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
Can you bring me the toilet please
I'm by myself. some Midwest chick is hitting on me because I gave her a deviled egg. I need the distraction.
Randomize