okay pat passed out under dana's car
Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
We had to coat check the pizza.
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
You were my sober police. You had one job and you failed miserably.
I'm a corrupt cop.
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
The best thing about last night is when drunk Lauren asked cop if she could smoke a joint in front of him. And next thing I remember she’s smoking weed with a cop. How awesome is that.
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
Randomize
