I wish there was an iPhone app to help you with your shitty personality.
Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
just accidentally masturbated with tiger balm. best. accident. ever.
i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.
Look at you go. You're like the Slutty Librarian that Could. They should write children's books about you. Children's books for adults.
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
There's "red head", "preppy white girl" and "the two Asians I dated and now everyone thinks I like Asians"
Your dating history is like the united colors of Benetton
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
Randomize
