There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
I smell like I just crawled out of a bottle of champagne and landed on the floor of taco bueno.
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
Her vagina smelt so bad I lied and told her that I was married just so that she would leave.
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
I'm gonna write a book entitled "when you give a cop a cookie..."
I don't even want to know.
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