Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
Speaking of boners I learned how to say " jizz everywhere" in sign language
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
Randomize
