fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
He doesn't need a wingman, he needs a miracle
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
Can you explain to me why I woke up with my hands tied to the hotel bed with the phone cord???
Cuz last time you told me I was going to be shocked about something you got a hand job from a stripper in canada
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
I'm offering you baseball tickets and my vagina, isn't that enough?
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
Many a woman has been in tears over the passing of my penis' whorish ways.
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
Randomize
