I'm calling you out on twitter if you don't come over right now.
If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
Want updates from david's night out drinking? If so text back DAVID to this number. Std rates apply.
Do you how many people I've successfully loaded into a Mazda Miata? Six. Six people. How? Strategically.
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
There is no way I am paying you $5 apiece for pot brownies you found behind a dumpster. $2, maybe.
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
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