no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This girl just stopped in the middle of a sentence because of my blue eyes. She said she got lost in them. I am laying pipe tonight.
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
If kinky sex was an Olympic sport they would be playing the anthem for me as we speak.
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
Hurry there's four guys dressed up as a bachelorette party, one has a condom veil and the rest are selling candy bouquets and asking if anyone wants to get laid for $5
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We watched Jurassic Park and they made me drink every time they saw or named a dinosaur. Do you know how many dinosaurs live in Jurassic Park? Lots.
I wore a bird inflatable and still got laid. So there's that.
Fell off the toilet trying to reach to put my tampon in the garbage. Pride hurts real bad.
My early Valentine's Day one night stand just took an uber home. Thank you, technology, for letting me enjoy this day in peace. 😍
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
Just woke up to the cat unconscious on my stomach, his face between my tits, purring to bring down the walls. I'm endeared and horrified at the same time.
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