Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
Until you have had Country Grammar stuck in your head whilst writing a Supreme Court brief you've never lived.
BILL GATES DONALD TRUMP LET ME IN NOW
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
Gramp just called her sex-on-a-stick. AKA HE CALLED HER A WHORE. My 75 year old grandfather just called your ex's new thing a whore.
FUCK the WHO, FUCK cancer, I'm gonna eat fucking bacon.
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
I just found a bag of chex mix in my clutch
You were feeding it to the bartender last night
Bear grylls would be proud of my improvisation. Just used her vibrator to massage my back after hurting it at work.
if anyone breaks out the olive oil & slip n slide, text me 911.
God damn you Coronavirus! I'm jonesing I got the itch. I would fully satisfy a horse for some Taco Bell or Perkins. God help me I'm going insane but I definitely don't want to get sick.
Randomize
