there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
Just got Netflix. Dexter Marathon. Still in my PJ's. Only eaten cookie dough and drinking a 40. I have never reeked so strongly of lonely .
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
Mystery lines found in a Pyrex dish in the back of my pantry at 415 am. No recall as to it's origin. Unidentifiable taste. Obviously I'm doing them
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
Watching the tv in the reflection of my phone cause I'm too hungover to roll over.... Yes it is 4 PM...
He brought me bullshit flowers and a bullshit apology. Even shrek did more than that for Fiona. And he's an ogre. Does this not say anything about him?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
You slow clapped the stripper last night.
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
I was in line at Panera when I got the pic you sent to your coworker. I just showed your vag to a soccer mom. The vibrator was a nice touch.
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