Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
She checked into foursquare right as she left work so he would think she was there late and not on some other guy's dick
I have to say for barely passing high school, that girl is a genius.
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
I forgot to tell you about my 7:30am Sunday morning run to the local convenience store to buy condoms, a du-rag and a shot glass
when I die covered in cocaine, hookers, and tequila at 73 years old just remember that I once had a tweet with that many retweets
Sorry I called bc I needed help peeing outside
But I did it
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
Two old ladies openly mocked me this morning at drunk breakfast. Is it time to reevaluate my life choices?
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
Randomize
