singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
You sent me snap chats of you guys having sex. Like plural. It was like flip book porn, I'm traumatized.
Since I fall down so much at parties I've started doing this new thing where when I fall I just yell FLOOR PARTY and make people bring the party to me
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
Oooo. Can we pretend to be Amanda Bynes?
She bought wigs like Disney princesses. I want to be her.
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
Don’t worry I was with my ex husband for 10 years and he could never remember the year I was born, when our dating anniversary was or what year I graduated high school. But I still know that mother fuckers SSN lol
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
Randomize
