Sorry I fell asleep again. I'm in the shower now. Door is unlocked. Condoms are in my desk. I want your game face on for when I get out.
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
My goal tonight is to get arrested because what cop can say they have ever arrested a giant sperm before. God I love halloween
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
When you put the phrases "just out of shower" and "did you get the picture" that close together, a picture of hamburger helper is not exactly what I expected to pop up.
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
When you wanted to give that guy at McDonalds your number you asked the cashier if you could borrow "a pen or just like a straw with his blood on it". He gave you a pen.
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
Randomize
