I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
im just going to superglue mistletoe to my forehead and see what happens
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Being at this bar with grandma is a real cockblocker
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
They called me at 5 AM saying they had a present for me
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
Now I have the walk of shame to give the receptionist the bathroom key back, I've had it for 20 minutes. I should just smile and wink. She knows what went down.
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
Today some guy at work told me I had the nicest hair he's ever seen and my response was "thanks I grew it myself". This is why I'm single.
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