Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
This random guy just introduced himself then said "So, I am staying at my friends place and he has a 4 year old, so we should probably go back to your house." WTF kind of vibes do I give off?
Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
So I thought I was doing pretty good and then I sneezed and prematurely ejaculated...
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
Your girlfriend is in jail- I've just never been able to use that in a sentence before. Thank you both!
I can't wait till we are old and wrinkly and I can turn to you and ask, "Remember when you Rick Jamesed the shit out of that couch??"
I woke up hugging a box of cheerios that had "wonder woman" written in sharpie on it. So much for a sober night.
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
Randomize
