so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
Walk of shame was bad enough, but farting with each step as I walked past his roommates was just not cosmically fair.
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
He was having an allergic reaction to that new brand of vodka Eric brought, so he just started chasing with benadryl.. Talk about commitment.
you went over to those random dudes and told them you were an ordained minister and would like to bless their food. they laughed and agreed, then you said "now bow your heads in prayer" as soon as they did you grabbed a taco off their tray and bolted out the door.
I'd rather just be alone, than deal with this bullshit. I just want to be alone. Cats and vibrators never let you down.
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
She just broke into my apartment while I was asleep, woke me up and drunkenly tried to seduce me for about 2 minutes, then passed out..
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
THIS IS WHY I WENT TO SCHOOL FOR TO BE A COSMETOLOGIST TO HELP MY EX BOYFRIENDS CURRENT GIRLFRIEND BE MILDLY ATTRACTIVE... Everything DOES happen for a reason
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
I could tell my life story through kermit memes
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