Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
Even my vagina gasped.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
He passed out. Woke up long enough to declare himself "the sauce boss" and then bit me in the face.
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
The fire department told the police that I was inside the burning building trying to pee in the rest of the electrical Outlets. Booyaka.
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
If u ever apologize to me for "too-rough" sex again I will suspend ur all-access pass to my vagina indefinitely
I'm giving random strangers at the bar sips of my fishbowl, then telling them I have Ebola. It's a fun night.
My phone just put together a highlight reel of yesterday's dick pic session, set to music and everything
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
He licked me while I ate pretzels and chips. I was really living my best life.
Randomize