who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
My hispanic family watching the world cup is getting too intense for me. a lit candle was just thrown at me because i walked by the tv.
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
No I'm not proud of you for not sleeping with him. He has herpes. You don't get a gold star for behaving how you're expected to. Trust me. I'm a teacher.
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
We were trying to sober you with hotdog buns but you refused put half of it in your bra and said you'd save it for later
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
Survival tip #3: while you're hooking up with him, don't say he reminds you of his brother
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
When she said "Tighten your safety belt and hold on!", that should have been a clear sign to me that one should never go off-roading in a rental car. On the bright side, they were able to tow her car out the next morning.
You tried to chase every shot with a blueberry.
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