woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
So not only just find my adoption papers that I didnt know about in my parents house, but they say "child shows some signs of mental retardation".
My fight-or-flight response is really more fight-or-fuck
shape ups are the best shoes to wear when youre stoned. its like walking on little trampolines every step.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
Is re-gifting a Valentine's Day present worse than re-gifting a Xmas one?
You're unbelievable, unbelievably awesome.
IM TRYING TO BE RESPONSIBLE AND ALL I WANT TO DO IS FUNNEL CHEAP BEER AND SCREAM ABOUT HOW MUCH I LOVE OUR NATION
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sex on the scooter in the parking lot wasn't the smartest idea. Actual quote from the cop as he handed me the ticket and fist bumped me.
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
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