don't wear any deodorant. we have to do everything we can to sabotage this wedding
I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
where are you?
sonic
Good. I hungoveredly cleaned your room. This is what being married is going to be like. I pick the condoms up off the floor and you bring home the hot dogs.
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
COCAINE IS GR8
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
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