gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
Disregard any previous text from the past 12 hours. Except for the one about scoring a strike while drunk bowling. Remember that one.
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
And the best part is that she's coming home to find that I completely shaved her dog.
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
Randomize
