This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
She tried to sleep on the front steps of her salon so she wouldn't be late for work and these people put her in a cab to my house. She is nothing if not responsible. Can u imagine her boss finding her there this morning?
Employee of the year! :)
I got 87 likes on my changed relationship status. It's official. I'm way more fucking awesome single.
They're mostly guys
Early bird gets the worm.
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
I have family pictures in an hour and a half and I'm 9 beers deep. This is how I get written out of my grandparents will...
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
Probably shouldn't be looking at memes at my grandmother's funeral
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
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