How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
Through drunken recall, I have managed to bring back awful memories of losing my virginity. And possibly traumatized my niece trying to get her to "learn from my mistakes".
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
Hey. It's Michael. The guy that had his tongue in your mouth last night. Just wanted to check in with you.
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
the man at taco bell in the drive thru window tried to sell me his mix tape
his single is called “stick some holes in it”
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
Randomize