She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
Hey, what did you end up doing with those ski goggles?
Anything is possible. I didn't even know I was wearing the toilet cover as a hat
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
I tripped while walking across the stage and while trying to pick my diploma back up my flask fell out in front of the dean
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
I think I just shit out all my problems.
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
So my best friends wedding ended with everyone seeing me getting eaten out behind the forbes church. Classy!
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