I woke up wearing no shirt sleeping next to a half-eaten grilled cheese.
Well did you call the grilled cheese yet? Or r u waiting the usual 3 days?
i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
I just projectile vomited into my kitchen sink. Today need to be over already.
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
The ass gains better be worth it
Randomize
