she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
I was going through my paperwork and I found the lifetime warranty card for my 14" dildo. I saved it. You know, just in case.
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
My New Years Resolution is to get everyone to start talking like a 40 year old douchebag. From now on, you will only refer to me as Chief.
I'm in the fetal position watching the little mermaid and trying not to die. When do you come home?
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
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