I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
had no condoms so I just made do with an empty doritos bag.
There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
I wouldn't accept the money so he folded the $20 bill into an origami puppy and left a note saying "Not blowjob money"
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think he's like 40 and maybe a little sociopathetic and i have never been so turned on
Another text to add to the intervention pile, i see
I thought my broken hand would put a damper on Halloween, but fake costume eyelashes and hydrocodone are kinda fun at the same time.
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
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