i just snorted my name. best moment ever
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
Last night he asked the cab driver "if you were in the middle of getting tattooed and the tattoo artist suddenly got a boner would you leave or would you get that boner??"
For my birthday I want you to get me in bed with Donald Trump. That is all. You have 3 months
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
How is it that I know 4 different bartenders who won't charge me for drinks, but I can't get laid?
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
Randomize
