I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
im at a bar with my dad last night and he got hit on more that I did
I know I'm really high but I swear I just saw him beating off to his fantasy football roster.
You just projectile vomited on my dad across the table at waffle house.
Do you think he can smell the vodka?
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I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
I just sent him 3 long ass texts about how to tell a girl how he feels. I should get a fucking friend zone medal.
I will make you one.
Good. It needs "forever alone" engraved on it
my mom just said "if you had sex with someone you don't really like I'm going to be so mad at you" HOW DOES EVERYBODY KNOW
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
oh, i solved that problem. i told him i wanted to steal my roommate's nephew. radio silence. haven't heard from him since.
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
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