If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
Just bought a pack of cigs...gas station guy informed me i took off my underwear and tried to pop a squat by the milk last night...
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
Yes. We drank 3/4 of a handle of vodka, fried and ate a 3lb package of bacon, I tackled the neighbors snowman, made snow angels in our underwear, and then fucked all night. Christmas success.
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
I forgot drug dealers have families, too. Cheers to a sober, uncomfortable, slightly enraging Thanksgiving.
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
Why did I wake up in bed with the ironing board and a Mariah Carey mask? Vodka hates me
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
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