He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
He drew a bath for me. It was only cute until he started throwing in celery and calling me soup.
The thumbs up barstamp on my hand is mocking my hangover with its positivity.
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
Worst date ever. Bro she asked when we can start having kids because her clock was ticking.
Run dude. Just run
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
Randomize
