dude, im still at the bar with two chics... one has a moustache ill save that one for you... be home in 20min..
let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
You don't know the true meaning of fear until your girlfriend's niece insists on sitting on your lap with 20 mg of Viagra coursing through your veins.
Actually just remembered that solo cup full of scotch that random guy gave me for not farting on him. That's probably why
I have chicken nuggets, lube and brand new batteries, he can stay at work charting all weekend for all I care, I'm set.
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
Randomize
