Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
Trying to figure out if I'm the second dude she hooked up with yesterday. I feel like a consolation prize
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
I owe you a thank you for last night. Only you could go up to a guy, ask if he likes my boobs, and return later to find us in a full on dance floor makeout sesh. Well played.
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
IT IS CHRISTMAS EVE AND I AM SUPPOSED TO BE HAVING SEX WITH AN ATTRACTIVE BLACK MAN IN THE NEXT FEW DAYS AND I JUST GOT MY PERIOD. WHEN PEOPLE ASK ME WHY I DON'T BELIEVE IN GOD I WILL TELL THEM OF THIS DAY.
I woke up on a boat next to an extremely attractive man wearing nothing but a life jacket. Neither one of us owns a boat...
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
Randomize
