good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
there was a trapeze. enough said
woke up this morning with pubes superglued to my face, not my pubes
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
Seriously, even though I keep it clean, I could douse it in bleach and set it on fire and still not be comfortable with you actually holding it. It's been in my VAGINA.
I told him he was like my favorite pair of jeans; I may not wear them every day, but I'll never get rid of them and they make my ass look fantastic. Needless to say he was not thrilled.
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
I’m going to lick a fucking door knob when this shit is all over
Probably Waffle House
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
Randomize